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Saturday, 20 December 2008

Texting Soon Trigger An Alien Invasion

Future phone InovationWill mobile phones and texting soon trigger an alien invasion, Not long ago, I bought a DVD of a film I’ve always loved since it was first released in 1996: Independence Day (for £3.50, double discer, brand new, bargain, eh!) It’s not the first alien invasion movie I’ve seen, and it won't be the last, ‘cos I loves ‘em. There’s nothing like a good ET apocalypse to get the blood flowing.

Of course, if it ever happened for real, I’d poo myself and run away screaming like a girl.

Well, now, if there is alien life out there, it’s all set to get an even bigger impetus to wander over here and bomb our species down to the bedrock, thanks to a site that will let you send text messages into space. Yep, you read that right, you and your mobile phones can now send text messages into the great void, according to The Telegraph.

To be fair, it’s not strictly speaking done with mobile phones, and it’s not strictly speaking aimed at finding aliens. However, say I’m browsing along on my X1 Xperia (which I have now ordered and should be on its way, soon!), find the website to send messages into space, and see that it’s designed to send an eternal message for a loved one round the universe.

Yeah, right. My bottom that’s what it’ll be used for. People will send messages to aliens. You know they will.

And that, there, is where it gets worrying. Let’s assume that people send out messages in the same typing style they use for IM, or for sending texts from their mobile phones; the average message to a brand new, never before encountered species is going to read like a lolcatz picture…

If I were an alien at that point, I would wander over and make Earth stop sending spam texts into space. I don’t want to anger any advanced species that exist out there, and I certainly don’t want them ASBO-ing Earth, especially since to aliens, ASBO means “Annihilate, Smash, Burn, Owwrraaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrr (the last word is hard to translate from alien, but scientists think it means ‘Probe’)”, usually with an enormous laser.

So, in essence, don’t text aliens. They’re big, they have tentacles, and they tend not to retaliate to things like that by writing a letter to the Daily Mail


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